You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
3 2 1 whiskey
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
