so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
