I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
