it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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