I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
