i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
