THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
