well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
