Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
