Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if only i could text you this smell
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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