i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
