I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Found your dick twin last night
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
