:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
