Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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