I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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