Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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