Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
