Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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