you guys were way drunker than both of me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize