I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
