we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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