the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize