and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
