we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
