you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
