If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
