just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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