He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
