I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
