i just had sex bonerless
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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