Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
