I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
