No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
