Jerry, you need to find god
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I woke up under a house in Key West
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
