If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
