sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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