need another drink. this is the easiest way
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Your cock deserves a montage
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
