i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize