This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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