she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
