im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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