I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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