so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
