she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
