You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
