Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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