Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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