Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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