last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
