so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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