I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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