They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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