he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
