gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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