Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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