two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
