I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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