she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
