That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
