I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
